Wordless Wednesday

I'm really not that certain which is more frightening?

This past week an international research team led by University of Alaska-Fairbanks scientists Natalia Shakhova and Igor Semiletov released their findings from a five year study that examined the waters of the East Siberian Arctic Shelf, which covers more than 772,200 square miles (two million square kilometers) of seafloor in the Arctic Ocean. The team found that methane is leaking into the atmosphere from unstable permafrost in the Arctic Ocean faster than scientists had originally thought and could worsen global warming. You can read more on this disturbing discovery here.

Or.........

The fact that there are people including some world leaders who still outright deny climate change is occurring, and its effects on our planet or refuse to believe that humans have been contributing to it.

Scary.

I have to admit that up until the last couple of days I have not being following the 2010 Winter Olympics. It is not that I have any real issue with them, and to the contrary I used to love following the figure skating during the winter Olympics. Figure skating was one of the few winter sports that both my Mom, and I loved to watch, and of course discuss afterwards. She was looking forward to these games especially because they are being held in Vancouver, and my Mom was a very proud Canadian.

Over the past few months I have noticed I tend to be avoiding things that either my Mom loved or we both shared together. Her death is still somewhat fresh for me, and I cry often when I think of her. So in turn knowing she would have been following these Olympics closely, and cheering the athletes (she was herself a very good fencer) I have avoided them too......

....until I read about Canadian skater Joannie Rochette, and how she was going to compete even after her own Mother's sudden, and tragic death less than a week ago. Her courage, and spirit touched me, so of course I had all of my own fingers, and toes crossed for her, and today my heart is filled with pride for her for not only skating, but winning an Olympic medal!

She has been quoted by the CTV as saying:

"I'm sure my mom was there with me with every step, and I'm really glad I could do it, I still don't know how I could do this and not start crying before the music started."

I am certain that from somewhere her Mother is beaming a huge smile, and I am equally certain that wherever she is my own Mom is smiling too.

Congratulations Joannie! Good Job!

Photo Credit: CBC

Why is it that some people seemingly need to put others down? Does it make them feel better about themselves? Do their private bits swell when they are attempting to make others feel bad about themselves? I just don't get it.

I ran into three of these types directly, and in one case indirectly in the last week, and I just have to shake my head in wonderment at what motivates these people. I am not talking about kids in junior high, who most one would hope will grow out of this behaviour as they mature. All three of the people I'm talking about are over the age of 30!

People who are happy within their own lives, and self confident may give others constructive criticism, but do not judge or put others down. I can only conclude that the three "adults" I had run-ins with must be unhappy or insecure, and maybe this is the only way they can feel in control or good about themselves?

It is too bad that they cannot see how their negativity actually reflects poorly on themselves, because if they did, they might realise that instead of appearing superior they really just look like weak fools to the rest of us.

For those of you who have the 11 thingy happening you already know what this blog post is going to be about. Just seeing the numbers displayed on a clock will trigger some sort of response within certain people.

Since the time I was a teenager, over two decades ago, I have off and on seen the numbers 11:11 or 1111 either as the time displayed on clocks or my watch or license plates, and more. I see 11:11 on computers, receipts, cell phones, addresses, phone numbers you name it.

Once I tried to see if it was just a formed habit, and I had trained myself to look for it at just the right time. So in an experiment I covered up all the clocks in the house. I happened to have the radio on....and you guessed it...the announcer called out the time 11:11!

I thought it was funny, and uncovered all the clocks.

I have no firm idea on what is going on with the elevens, but there does seem to be synchronicity involved, and often during an 11 wave as I call it there are changes either positive or negative occurring within my personal life. My Mom used to see the 11s and was equally baffled by it, and my sister has the 1111 thing happening as well.

Image Credit

Sparked during a discussion about the alleged serial killing officer in the Canadian army, the question of whether or not we (the average citizen) should arm ourselves against the possibility of criminal attack on our person with weapons such as mace, pepper spray, knives, and other such devices came up on our forums. Many of these weapons are either restricted or illegal in Ontario, Canada, and in my own opinion with very good reasons.

People's opinions on this question started me reflecting on my life when I was suffering uncontrolled Graves Disease, and what drastic steps I may have taken had I been armed during the times when I felt especially vulnerable, and paranoid...or as my family doctor quite aptly would put it....meshugge.

I can say fairly confidently that had I been carrying mace or another weapon during the height of my suffering Graves Disease, under the right circumstances (a perceived threat) someone (almost 100% guaranteed innocent) could have been seriously injured, and if I had been carrying a gun I may have even killed someone during the few times I experienced extreme emotions, and anxiety. It is a horrible, sobering thought for me.....and may in fact be shocking for you to read, but it's true, and I thank goodness that I never actually caused any type of physical harm to anyone during those very, dark, dark days.

I am not in the least kidding or exaggerating as those of you who know me as an easygoing type of person might think. Matthew can attest to this having had to live with it. And yes, he is a VERY, VERY good man who was very supportive, and caring while the doctors got my illness under control.

Graves Disease untreated and uncontrolled can and does provoke paranoid delusions, and violent, sometimes extremely unwarranted angry behaviour in some sufferers. It is not the only medical condition or obvious state of mind that can do so, but it often goes unchecked sometimes years in people or is misdiagnosed leaving angry, out-of-control people not aware or knowing that something is actually physically wrong with them. I was not overly surprised recently to learn that the thyroid is always checked when paranoid schizophrenia is suspected. Graves disease has even been used as a defense in murder cases (Gah!) though I believe unsuccessfully.

BTW I am very much 100% opposite of the way I was, no longer "meshugge" or "crazy" in that I have full control of my emotions, and senses back, but I am very well aware that this is due to the medication I am on that works to harmonize the chemical cocktail in my body, and allows me to function normally, something that is impossible for people who have severe thyroid issues. I was lucky in that I received A LOT of love, and support from family, friends, and great care from my endocrinologist, which saw me through anxiety, depression, and angry outbursts that I had little control over. Having Graves is like being angry all of the time with no reason to feel that way.

Getting back to arming the average citizen, having a weapon in hand in my opinion means you are more likely to use it in situations where you feel threatened or under attack. Now what if your perception of the event is wrong, and you seriously harm someone, which is something you can never ever possibly take back? This scenario makes YOU the criminal......and it is something that can happen to any and all of us.

Based on my own experiences that do show that anyone in my opinion can have a lapse in good judgment, sometimes as a result of sudden changes in the chemistry of the brain (just one example)......it is best to avoid situations if possible that may make us vulnerable to crime...and leave the weapons to trained professionals like the police who are subjected to psych evaluations and are scrutinized, and less likely to harm an innocent person just because they are perceived to be threatening because of their intensive training.

And the police, and other emergency services are FAR FAR more likely to come into contact with violent criminals than the average citizen....this coming from someone who lives in a large urban centre where people assume we are more likely to be the victim of a violent crime.

I also am highly doubtful that being armed would have saved any of the Colonel's victims including the lady soldier who I believe would have had some training in hand to hand combat. Being armed may have given them a slight edge or their own weapons may have been used against them the latter being far more often the case then we may realise according to violent crime stats.

So no, I do not feel that society would benefit in any way from citizens that are armed, and themselves potentially very dangerous.

Wishing my Matthew, family, friends, and blogging pals a wonderful Valentines Day!